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self,

i have to feel to write.

i dont feel. I do not feel

Testing. replace drifting for direction. i feel numb

This is just who i am justificaton.

    to feel I must let go        Unclench.   I find this painful, where most find welcome reprieve.

 I understand that I must            

throw myself         disregard hesitation      

practice    

learn distance, during the fall.  

j. nkiruka

Again and again, however we know the landscape of love and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names, and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others fall: again and again the two of us walk out together under the ancient trees, lie down again and again among the flowers, face to face with the sky.

- Rainer Maria Rilke: Again and Again